Harriet and Ramona
by BarneyOwl16
Summary: Hermione is never normally wrong when it comes to spells, but one day during the 6th year one of her spells would have confusing and slightly humiliating effects for not just Harry and Ron but all those who find themselves caught up with this mistake.
1. Chapter 1

**Harriet and Ramona **

**Chapter One **

Hermione Jean Granger hardily ever got a spell wrong, infact she was nearly always right. She had only ever got a spell wrong before in the 2nd year when she used the wrong hair in the polliejuice potion and turned herself into a cat. But apart from that she was completely reliable especially to her two best friends Harry Potter and Ron Weasley who were more than happy to go along with her plans and ideas if it meant them getting a good result at the end of it. Yet during 6th year one of Hermione's spells would go horribly wrong and mean a more than unpleasant time for the two boys of the golden trio.

It was during the awkward months at Hogwarts when the weather hadn't decided if it wanted to stay being hot or move on to its colder days, the skies above the magical castile were so clear almost every star in the galaxy could be seen shining but also reflecting on the black lake. It was a rare thing when the Scottish skies wouldn't be plagued with angry grey clouds that would almost scream through the thunder they would create. But not tonight, tonight the students of Hogwarts were sat on window ledges or all huddled together gazing out to the sky.

Three students however were not looking out at the sky, three students were nowhere near a window they were slumped more than sat on two beds in the boys dormantry, these three students were called Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger and it would have been an under reaction to say that they were far to busy to look at stupid stars.

Harry had just finished telling them about his meeting with Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore and how he had once again had an important mission laid on his small, malnutritioned shoulders.

'That's stupid!' Ron roared 'how the hell or you supposed to force someone to give you their memory?'

'I think persuade would be the best word Ronald' Hermione corrected

'Yh, but still'

'Dumbledore thinks I can do it' Harry pointed out while burring half his face into the bed sheets.

'Why?' Ron asked 'purely because you're the boy who lived'

'I think it's because one of his favourite students was my mum'

'But I thought you were more like your dad?'

Harry lazily raised his hands in defence 'that's what I've been told too'

Ron leaned back against the bed post where he was sat and looked down at Hermione who was sat on the floor in-between his and Harry's beds.

'Tell me again what you have to do' Hermione said while her mind raised with possibilities from books she had read.

'I need to get the real memory from Professor Slughorn so that we can find out what he told Voldemort all those years ago'

Hermione and Ron flinched at the sound of Voldemort's name but then she went back to her thinking.

'Now please can I go to sleep' Harry begged through half open eyes

'Fine' she agreed 'but I want to get straight on this in the morning'

'No' Ron almost screamed

'No?'

'Harry's going to help me practice tomorrow'

'Practice?'

'I'm going for keeper remember'

Hermione nodded

'But if this really is important then I suppose Harry should just give the spot now so we can work on this' Ron said in a casual fashion

'Harry isn't going to give you the spot just because he's captain!' she scolded 'are you Harry?'

Harry tried to agree with Hermione but he was too tired so did what was in the middle of a nod and a shake of the head.

'Yh, but I'm going to have an advantage aren't I Harry?'

Again Harry gave Ron what was in the middle of a nod and a shake of the head. Hermione rolled her eyes at the boys before standing up 'night' she called as she skipped out of the boys dorm with fresh ideas beating their way though her brain.

The next day the grey clouds were back with a vengeance and the weather had chosen to become cold. Hogwarts was silent as hardily any of the students or teachers were up, the only people up were Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall and Hermione. Hermione had been up for hours trying to think of ways Harry could get the memory from Slughorn and finally she had found something she had always wanted to try. Going on what Harry had told her and why Dumbledore believed Harry could get the memory, the spell would be perfect.

Hermione had been sat in the common room as she had woken up all of the girls in her dorm by her constant page turning; all she had to do now was wait until it was appropriate for her to wake the boys.

Hermione might have thought that 6am was an appropriate time to wake people up but Ron didn't! He tried to ignore her best he could but when she started calling him "Ronald" he couldn't take the embarrassment. Even Dean got up purely to help Hermione so that he, Seamus and Neville didn't have to hear Hermione shouting anymore.

By the time Ron was truly aware of his surroundings himself and Harry were propped up against one of the toilet cubical doors in the girl's toilets. As he looked to his left he could see that for the first time in their friendship Ron had woken up before Harry who still had his eyes shut with his mouth wide open against the toilet door.

'He woke up for a while but as soon as he sat down he went back to sleep' Hermione informed him after seeing that he was moving around.

'Hermione' Ron said weakly 'what the fuck?'

Hermione held back a laugh 'Ron don't swear!'

'Seriously though, why?'

Hermione grinned 'I know how to help Harry'

Ron nodded and nudged Harry 'mate' he said in his ear 'mate, wake up'

Harry let out a groan

'Mate' Ron called again

'Ron' moaned Harry 'we're in a toilet?'

'I know' he nodded 'its Hermione's fault'

Harry straightened the glasses on his face and looked up at Hermione who looked as right as rain.

'This better be good'

Hermione sat down infrount of the boys with her spell book from the restricted section and opened it up to the right page.

'I was thinking over what you told me about Slughorn and I found this spell that I think will help you…'

Harry put his hand up to stop Hermione 'hold that thought' Harry stood up and walked over to the sink, he put the plug in and began running the cold water

'Harry what are you doing?' she asked him

As soon as she asked Harry took off his glasses and dunked his head into the cold water.

'That's a brilliant idea' Ron cried as he stood up and did the same. Harry pulled his head out of the water.

'Sorry Hermione' he breathed 'needed waking up'

Hermione was sat shaking her head at the two dripping wet and shivering boys across from her.

'So anyway this spell…'

'…Hermione' Harry interrupted again 'is this spell going to make me more like my mum?'

Of course after being best friends with her for six years Harry was now pretty much on her wave length.

Hermione thought about it 'yes' she said slowly

'Will it help me get the memory?'

'I think so'

'Then do the spell'

'I need Ron to do it too'

'Why?' Ron asked curiously

'Because you're going to need to work together!'

Harry and Ron both looked at one another 'and what about you?' they said in unison

Hermione sighed 'I'm going to be guiding you!'

'And your sure you know what your doing?' they said again in unison

'Yes!' she snapped 'when have I ever got a spell wrong'

Harry and Ron looked at each other again; they had completely forgotten about the cat incident and couldn't think of another time between them.

Hermione told the boys to stand in the centre of the room.

'You might black out for a few minuets' Hermione told them

'I've never blacked out before!' Ron said with panic in his voice

'I'm used to it' Harry said bluntly

'Ready?' Hermione asked

The boys nodded

'1…2…3'

Harry didn't know what time it was, but when he opened his eyes it was dark. The candles around the room were lit and stood like soldiers on the wax sticks.

'Hermione?' Harry called out into the dark toilets

There was no reply.

'Ron?'

Harry heard a groan to his side which told him Ron was still here. Harry pulled himself up off the floor and helped himself to stand with the help of the sink. He didn't know how to describe it but he felt different, he felt as if something was missing, he felt like he could do the splits?

Harry felt a bit scared; he turned around to look at Ron on the floor. Harry normally had a limited number of reactions to seeing his best mate, and they were joy, dislike if you count the 4th year, sadness if you count the 4th year and happiness. But not once had he screamed at the sight of Ron.

Ron woke up on the cold floor 'Ron?' he heard Harry call, Ron didn't know how to respond so he just groaned.

Ron laid a few more minuets until he heard Harry scream…

Ron had a number of reactions to seeing his best mate, and they were joy, dislike if you count the 4th year, sadness if you count the 4th year and happiness. But not once had he screamed at the sight of Harry.

Harry stopped screaming 'Ron!' he yelled 'why are you screaming at me?'

Ron stopped screaming 'why are you screaming at me?'

It felt just like the moment in 2nd year when Harry and Ron drove the enchanted car to school, they both turned their heads at the same moment. Now they were both turning their heads at the same moment towards the mirror that stood on the right hand side of the wall.

'Harry?'

'Yes mate?'

'We're women'

Harry and Ron stood frozen looking in the mirror at themselves? Well it must have been them, their lips were moving at the same time.

'No shit Sherlock'

'Harry?' Ron asked again but sounding slightly more happy this time.

'Yes mate?'

'I have bigger boobs than you'

Harry didn't know if he should be offended or happy and yes Ron did have bigger boobs than him. To be honest Ron looked like Ginny with a slightly lager chest and shoulder length red hair.

'You've shrunk' Ron also pointed out pointing at Harry in the mirror.

Harry looked down at himself, he had shrunk not only that he also had mad black hair that went half way down his back.

'Crap I've got love handles' Harry exclaimed putting his hands on his newly large hips.

Harry and Ron looked at each other with the same thought going through their heads but it was Harry who said it.

'I'm going to bloody kill Hermione'


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Professor Albus Dumbledore was not a man to be speechless if anything he was a man who knew what to say in every situation. Hermione Granger was also the brightest witch of her age so if anybody was up to the task of making the great headmaster speechless it was she.

As Dumbledore sat behind his desk expecting for the day to be a quiet one he let Hermione enter his office and sit herself across from him. Hermione couldn't imagine Dumbledore sleeping or gossiping, she believed that his mind was far more advanced that hers or her friends and that he was far more evolved. Of curse she knew he slept and had fun its just that's she could never imagine it.

'Miss Granger, what a pleasant surprise" the old headmaster greeted

"Hello sir"

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I turned Harry and Ron into girls" she said bluntly

"Well I must say I hope you didn't just do it for pleasure purposes"

Hermione might not have noticed this but Dumbledore did, because for about 2 seconds between her telling him what she had done, Dumbledore was speechless.

"Sir have you ever heard the story of Magda Marsh?"

"Ah" nodded Dumbledore as if a sudden wave of understanding had crashed on top of him "I understand"

Hermione smiled widely "I just wanted to talk to you about what their going to do for school for the next month or so"

"I must say Miss Granger it is a simple conversation, all we can do is make them a back story put them in the next appropriate house and wish for the best"

Hermione nodded until "the next appropriate house?"

"Surly they can't be in Gryffindor they are too well known"

Hermione nodded "I should go and see if their awake"

Dumbledore nodded "Oh Miss Granger" he called as she got up from her seat and moved towards the door.

"Take the boys these" he said magicing up a pile of uniforms.

Hermione smiled, took the clothes off her headmaster and made her way down the staircase.

Harry stood awkwardly in the mirror as he poked his newly enlarged hips, he hated them, for one thing his trousers didn't fit properly anymore, and he had to pull them up to his waist.

"They call them 'love handles' you know" Ron pointed out to Harry while laughing as he fidgeted with his new body parts.

"Why do they call them that?" Harry asked him

Ron raised his eye brow to Harry to insinuate something.

Harry shook his head "actually mate, I don't want to know" he said with slight disgust on his face.

Harry and Ron looked at each other once more just to make sure that what they were seeing was real "strange" they said in unison.

Both their trails of thought were disturbed by the sound of the bathroom door opening. As they both turned their heads they saw Hermione entering with a pile of Hogwarts uniforms.

"Oh, you're up" she said cheerfully as she put down the uniforms by the sink that Harry and Ron had once used to travel to the chamber of secrets.

Hermione was a smart girl, so purely by the look on Harry and Ron's feminine faces she knew they were angry, no they weren't angry in fact, Hermione didn't like to swear but even she would admit that they were pissed.

"Hermione!" Harry blasted holding his fists down by his curvy sides "why do I have hips? And boobs! And why does Ron have…"

"…Bigger…"

"…Boobs" Harry finished looking Ron up and down while frowning "and why does Ron have hair that looks like he looks after it?!"

Hermione rolled her eyes at the two boys one of whom was now playing with his hair. "Professor Slughorn was fonder of your mother…"

"…SO YOU THOUGHT YOU'D TURN ME INTO HER, and if you hadn't noticed I don't take after my mother, if anything Ron looks more like my mother. I look like a tragic accident of Sirius and Remus trying to relive the old days!"

"Well you've woken up" Hermione grunted "and if you'd let me finish, I was going to say…"

"…hang on" Ron interrupted causing Hermione to through her hands up in despair "if this is for Harry then why do I have to be a woman?'

"As I was just saying it's more of a mental reason"

"What! For me or for Slughorn" exclaimed Harry "because my heads already skewered up as it is"

"Listen" she ordered them "I was up all night reading about it, have you heard about the tale of Magda?"

"Yes" nodded Ron

"No" sighed Harry

"Well apparently there was this witch long ago called Magda Marsh. She fell out with her mother when she discovered that her mother wasn't going to leave her any inheritance so she worked on a way that she could make herself more like her father who had recently died. Once she had worked out how to turn herself male she didn't just physically resemble her father but emotionally too. She went back to her mother as her alter ego called Almond, her mother loved Almond so much that she left all the inheritance to Almond who was really Magda"

Harry leaned back against the mirror and tilted his head back to show his despair.

"So Ron physically resembles my mum, but I emotionally resemble my mum"

Hermione nodded looking pleased with herself.

"So how long is this going to take?" Ron asked

"About a month"

"A MONTH!" the boys cried

Harry was now standing straight up and looking at Hermione with his eyes looking less bright and more venomous.

"So we have to act like girls for a month?" Harry almost sobbed

"Mate" said Ron who was looking at Harry oddly "I was thinking more about something else that happens to a girl once a month"

Harry's head snapped to look up in Ron's eyes "Oh no"

"Harry, Ron" Hermione snapped "you won't have a period!"

"How do you know!" snapped Harry

Ron looked at Hermione while pointing at his newly female friend "look he's angry, the hormones are already kicking in!"

"Honestly" Hermione whispered to herself while rolling her eyes.

"And what about school?" Harry pointed out

"I spoke to Dumbledore" she said with a wicked smile "we have to go and see him"

She rested her hand on the pile of uniforms she had carried in "but in the meant time you can wear these"

Ron looked closely at the pile "hang on there skirts"

"Yes Ronald that's what girls wear"

"Yh, I like looking at them but not wearing one!"

Harry shivered at the thought of Ron is a skirt. There was a long silence.

"So anymore questions?"

The two boys shook their heads causing their long hair to whip them in the face.

"Good, I'll meet you up there and get changed!"

With that Hermione swept the room and left the two boys staring petrified at two black skirts, white shirts, long socks and most scariest of all two bras and two pairs of ladies nickers that looked awfully small around the front.

Watching Harry and Ron walk out of the girls toilets would remind anyone of an old 80s sitcom were the only way to decently describe the way they walked was 'NOT delicate'.

They spent most of the walk pulling their skirts down and the worst was on the stairs, half way down the main staircase Ron stopped Harry and decided to tell him that being a girl was like having "two bean bags on his chest", even though Harry didn't want to look he couldn't help but think that Ron should have done up his bra a bit tighter.

They were lucky that everyone else was in class meaning that they could stumble through the halls with out being looked at, plus the few people who were coming down the halls didn't really look at them.

After a lot of effort and awkward walking they made it to Dumbledore's office were they found Hermione waiting for them. At first she didn't really look at them it was only when Ron coughed that she remembered they were girls.

"Oh sorry, I forgot"

Harry and Ron glared at her "do you know how hard it is to walk as a girl"

Hermione ignored them "you look nice" she said looking them up and down.

They boys rolled their eyes at her while she giggled "come on lets go and see Dumbledore"

Dumbledore was pacing his office thinking hard while Harry, Ron and Hermione sat awkwardly on the three chairs Dumbledore had placed out in front of his desk.

"Close you legs" Hermione whispered to Harry and Ron who were sitting with their legs out stretched in front of them.

They both sheepishly closed them and sat bolt up right.

"I thought there was a breeze in here" Ron muttered to Harry.

"Well" Dumbledore said startling the teenagers "I think first of all we should put you in your new houses"

"Sir, shouldn't we discuss our back stories first?" Harry asked

"Harry we can not discuss your back story until we know what house you are to be in for the next month or so"

"Or so" Harry and Ron both repeated together

Hermione and Dumbledore ignored them.

"Right Mr Weasley you first" Ron got up from the chair and fixed his skirt before walking over to Dumbledore. Dumbledore took the sorting hat off the shelf and placed it on his head, straight away the sorting hat got to work searching thought the deepest thought of Ronald Weasley's mind.

"Ravenclaw" the hat cried

Hermione and Harry looked at Ron is shock, but Ron was in more shock than the two of them put together, he looked blankly for a few moments while Dumbledore smiled happily. He took a deep breath and tried to look cool in front of Harry and Hermione.

"Must be the chess thing" he nodded to himself, Harry and Hermione nodded back to be kind.

Next up was Harry who moved more slowly towards the headmaster looking at the hat like an old enemy.

The hat a placed more slowly onto Harry's head as even Dumbledore knew what was coming pretty much as soon as hair met hat the hat called out "Slytherin"


End file.
